Malandragem: You Want a Physicist to Speak at Your Funeral
You want a physicist to speak at your funeral. You want the physicist to talk to your grieving family about the conservation of energy, so they will understand that your energy has not died. You want the physicist to remind your sobbing mother about the first law of thermodynamics; that no energy gets created in the universe, and none is destroyed. You want your mother to know that all your energy, every vibration, every Btu of heat, every wave of every particle that was her beloved child remains with her in this world. You want the physicist to tell your weeping father that amid energies of the cosmos, you gave as good as you got.
And at one point you’d hope that the physicist would step down from the pulpit and walk to your brokenhearted spouse there in the pew and tell him that all the photons that ever bounced off your face, all the particles whose paths were interrupted by your smile, by the touch of your hair, hundreds of trillions of particles, have raced off like children, their ways forever changed by you. And as your widow rocks in the arms of a loving family, may the physicist let her know that all the photons that bounced from you were gathered in the particle detectors that are her eyes, that those photons created within her constellations of electromagnetically charged neurons whose energy will go on forever.
And the physicist will remind the congregation of how much of all our energy is given off as heat. There may be a few fanning themselves with their programs as he says it. And he will tell them that the warmth that flowed through you in life is still here, still part of all that we are, even as we who mourn continue the heat of our own lives.
And you’ll want the physicist to explain to those who loved you that they need not have faith; indeed, they should not have faith. Let them know that they can measure, that scientists have measured precisely the conservation of energy and found it accurate, verifiable and consistent across space and time. You can hope your family will examine the evidence and satisfy themselves that the science is sound and that they’ll be comforted to know your energy’s still around. According to the law of the conservation of energy, not a bit of you is gone; you’re just less orderly. Amen.
- Aaron Freeman
The Bitter Taste Of One’s Own Medicine of the Day: The Tennessee state senator who sponsored the controversial “Don’t Say Gay” bill — which aims to prohibit teachers from discussing homosexuality in the classroom — was refused service at a Knoxville restaurant because of his anti-gay views.
“I hope that [Stacey] Campfield now knows what it feels like to be unfairly [discriminated] against,” The Bistro at the Bijou wrote on their Facebook page.
Reached for comment, Sen. Campfield, who just days ago defended his assertion that it is “virtually impossible” to contract AIDS “through heterosexual sex,” confirmed he was kicked out, saying “I went in there and the lady started calling me names and wouldn’t serve me.”
According to Campfield, the hostess called him a homophobe and accused him of hating homosexuals. “In my business I do rental properties and I’ve rented to homosexuals, mixed-race couples, black couples,” countered Campfield.
He believes the restaurant treated him unfairly. “If you don’t think the way certain people think, then they think you don’t have a right to be served,” he told Buzzfeed.
People denying other people rights simply because they have a different worldview? I agree, Senator. That’s unacceptable.
[buzzfeed / facebook / photo: ap via comapp.]
Senator Janet Howell, Baddass Bitch of the Day
To protest a bill that would require women to undergo an ultrasound before having an abortion, Virginia State Sen. Janet Howell (D-Fairfax) on Monday attached an amendment that would require men to have a rectal exam and a cardiac stress test before obtaining a prescription for erectile dysfunction medication.
“We need some gender equity here,” she told HuffPost. “The Virginia senate is about to pass a bill that will require a woman to have totally unnecessary medical procedure at their cost and inconvenience. If we’re going to do that to women, why not do that to men?”
Stupendous.
Boss status.
Shit Republicans Say About Black People
FUCKING PRICELESS!
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Sometimes I think I have given out my love to too many ideas and places and books and films, and have not saved enough for people.
April Xiong, “Where I Write #21: On the Edge of Sky and Sea”






